


Techni-cat-lities

by MemoryDragon



Category: Doctor Who: Scream of the Shalka
Genre: Alison wants to keep it, An overly-affectionate one, Extreme cuteness, Fluff, Gen, He is interrupted by a cat, Humor, The Doctor is amused, The Master wants to do repairs in peace, kitten fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-03-13
Updated: 2012-03-13
Packaged: 2017-11-18 04:41:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,513
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/557010
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MemoryDragon/pseuds/MemoryDragon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Master has an unexpected visitor while he fixes the scanners.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Techni-cat-lities

**Author's Note:**

  * For [nemaline](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=nemaline).



> **Disclaimer:** I do not own Doctor Who, nor do I make any claim to.  
>  **Warnings:** Extreme cuteness, and some crack on the side. Lots of cuteness and crack...  
>  **Notes:** Written for nemaline's birthday. Happy Birthday, Cy!  
>  **Thanks:** Many thanks to narwhale_callin for the lovely beta.
> 
>  **Originally Posted:** Mar. 13th, 2012

There was a small scratching at the door. At first, the Master ignored it. The scanner relays needed to be fixed, and the Doctor kept putting them off until a major emergency when the aforementioned scanner would be needed. Such assurances that he would "get around to it" never sat well with the Master. Finally, he had shooed the Doctor and Miss Cheney out to see the fifth wonder of the Mariessian galaxy so that he could get the repairs done without the Doctor's constant suggestions and "fixes." 

His robotic brain noticed everything, giving him constant feeds and streams of data to examine and unless it was important, he ignored the majority of it. As the Master snapped a Zeus plug in place, he prepared to test the scanner he had just fixed, and he took note of the fact that something was clawing at the door. Flipping the switch to turn on the scanner, he saw nothing but static fuzz.

The Master sighed, wondering which one of the Doctor's "fixes" was interrupting with his repairs this time. With no alternative, the Master opened the door cautiously. Unfortunately, no amount of caution stopped the blur of movement from dashing in.

It was fast, whatever it was - too fast for his sensors to pick up. Cursing the Doctor's insistence on a zero-tolerance weapon policy, the Master got the hat rack and faced the blur, preparing to defeat it or convince it to do his bidding depending on what it was. 

The blur, it turned out, wasn't interested in him at all. The Master was surprised to find that the blur on his sensors was a small Earth cat. It was a long-haired Tortie with a torn ear and solid brown paws. He took a moment to admire the beautiful creature, catching a brief glimpse of one blue and one green eye before they closed in pleasure as the cat rubbed against the TARDIS controls. He always liked cats, with their lean muscles and quick reflexes. This one was certainly an admirable example of the species.

Setting down the hat rack, the Master watched the cat warily. It had been fast enough to blur his sensors, but it seemed like a normal domestic feline otherwise. Perhaps he should talk to the Doctor about upgrading the processing powers of his sensors, since they appeared to be running slowly. 

The cat was purring very loudly as it shamelessly used a level to scratch its chin before brushing it with its cheeks. The Master disapproved of the level of noise, but didn't see any reason to stop it yet. He watched the cat examine the control panel. If the Master didn't know any better, he'd have said the cat was admiring the technology. Its tail even flicked in agitation with its ears laid back as it came to one of the Doctor's "fixes," only to be soothed as the TARDIS hummed in response. 

When it got to the panel he had taken apart to fix the scanner, the Master stepped forward to keep the cat away from the wires. The last thing he needed was for the cat to start chewing on them, because the Doctor would never remember to get replacements. However, the cat ducked under his hand and grabbed a wire in its teeth, pulling it out of the plug before he could grab it. The Master cursed mentally as he tried to grab the cat, but instead of chewing on the wires, the cat neatly placed it in a different jack with an ease that was frankly unbelievable. 

Watching the cat in bafflement, the Master made no further attempt to stop it. It moved with a fascinating grace, switching wires and circuits. The Master wasn't altogether sure what the cat was doing, but he wasn't about to stop a bit of harmless sabotage that he could honestly tell the Doctor he didn't do. Then the Doctor would have to stop ignoring the problem and fix it.

A moment later, the scanner screen flickered to life, showing the Doctor and Miss Cheney just about to open the door with much more clarity than it had ever held before. "-can't just walk in and ask what the problem is, Alison," the Doctor said as the door opened.

"But it worked, didn't it? What's wrong with the direct approach?" Miss Cheney asked, walking into the console room. She stopped as she spotted the cat.

"You have no sense of intrigue. It's a matter of-"

"What is a cat doing in the TARDIS?"

"Now see, there's a perfect example of no finesse," the Doctor admonished as he peered down at the furry intruder. The cat had resumed purring over the controls. "Though it does happen to be a very good question," he continued, looking perplexed. He turned to the Master, both eyebrows raised.

The Master shrugged. "It was scratching at the door before I got the scanner working, and then it rushed in before I could close the door." Technically, the cat fixed the scanner, but the Master wasn't planning on mentioning that.

When the Master spoke, however, the cat's ears perked up and it made a curious meow. It looked up at him with wide, hetero-chromatic eyes. Just as the Master realized that the cat was preparing to jump, it launched itself at him. He took a step back and brought his hands up to defend himself.

The cat was already clinging to his shoulders though, and the Master winced and lowered his hands as claws dug into his synthetic skin. It rubbed its furry face against his cheek. "Looks like you've made a new friend," the Doctor said cheerfully.

The Master glared, sparing a brief thought for why he put up with this life as he grabbed the cat from his shoulder. It was purring loudly again, head butting the Master's chin in perfect contentment as he settled it in his arms. He turned his attention to glare at the cat, but staying angry at it was much harder than he anticipated. The creature was... likable, he supposed. 

"I never thought I'd say something like this in conjunction with the Master," he heard Miss Cheney say, "But you staring at the cat like that is one of the cutest things I've ever seen." 

Turning to tell Miss Cheney that if she ever wanted to take a hot shower again, she would refrain from ever calling him _cute_ , he was interrupted as all three of them jumped when an unfamiliar voice spoke up. "Machines are sublime," a small, childish voice said.

"Did that cat just talk?" Miss Cheney asked incredulously as the cat curled up against the Master's chest. 

"Apparently," the Doctor said, peering down at the small beast in the Master's arms. "And I believe I said something earlier about finesse. Hello, little friend. Why don't you tell us a little about-"

The cat hissed threateningly, biting the Doctor's fingers when he reached out to pet it. The Master bit back his own hiss of pain at the cat's claws and considered turning his sensory input off until the damned thing stopped. He could just drop the cat, of course, but he couldn't quite bring himself to do it. His surprising affection for the creature was beginning to get a little annoying. 

"Ow," was all the Doctor said as he sucked on his fingers with a pout.

"Bad repairs! Bad fixes!" the cat hissed. "Deserves better!" The fur on its back stood up as the brown and black tail whipped back and forth furiously, batting the Master's nose. Enough was enough. The Master grabbed the cat, forcing it to let go of his sleeve, and set it back down on the TARDIS console where it could claw to its heart's content. By the time he had finished, the cat was purring loudly again, rubbing against the softly humming machine. 

Miss Cheney had a wicked gleam in her eyes as she stared at her traveling companions. When she reached out to pet the cat, it graciously allowed her to bestow attention upon it. "Now there's a good cat. Can we keep him?" 

"No!" the Master said emphatically as the Doctor, still with his finger in his mouth, said, "Absolutely not!"

The cat ignored the increasingly heated arguments against its staying, jumping back onto the Master's shoulder when he was distracted and poking its cold nose against his neck. "Such lovely machinery..." it said, the continuous purr under its voice. 

The Master absently scratched behind its ears, resolutely listing all the reasons a cat couldn't stay in the TARDIS and ignoring the fawning noises that Miss Cheney kept making. They didn't even know where the cat had come from, much less what it actually was, since, looks aside, the Master highly doubted it was actually of the _Felis catus_ family. Somehow, the conversation switched from "No, it can't stay" to "No, we're not calling it Fluffy or Rexapaltorous" and then resignation set in. At least he'd have an extra set of paws next time the TARDIS broke down.

~FIN~

**Author's Note:**

> Quotes of the fic:
> 
> "If man could be crossed with the cat it would improve the man, but it would deteriorate the cat."  
> \- Mark Twain
> 
> "I meant," said Ipslore bitterly, "what is there in this world that truly makes living worthwhile?"  
> Death thought about it.  
> "Cats," he said eventually. "Cats are nice."  
> -Terry Pratchett, _Sourcery_


End file.
